Brett Goes to Paris

Yep, Brett and his lovely wife took a trip to the big beignet.... Paris, of course!

Here's a portrait of them during their travels:

You heard it straight from the horse's mouth...

Brett said it. Really, he did.

" All Cats Are Evil Satan Spawns "

I drew him this picture to portray my agreement with him :D

fEAR the hunger....

Few people know the history of Brett's ear...

Long ago, when Brett was just a wee lad, he was attacked by a dog. It bit part of his ear off, and his parents took him to a plastic surgeon so they could make him look presentable once again (however, there is much skepticism as to whether or not the procedure was a success...).

And now years later, Brett's ear is in grave danger once again. But this time, there aren't any dogs to worry about. This time, it's business. Insurance business. And it all boils down to one angry (and apparently hungry) client.

Yesterday, Brett found himself on the phone with an older client who was rather upset by an increase in his insurance premium. As Brett tried to explain, the client spoke out in an outrage. The verbal assault went something like this....

"If I were Mike Tyson and we were in the ring, I'D BITE YOUR EAR OFF!"


Watch out, Brett! Who knew insurance could be so dangerous...

Today Is... TALK LIKE SHAKESPEARE DAY!!!!!!

In association with National Talk Like Shakespeare Day,

Brett (unbeknownst to him) hath completeth a

Shakespeare-themed Mad Lib.....

Herein lies the end result:


Hamlet: "To be, or not to be, that is the question:"

"To piss, or not to piss, — that is the butt;

Whether 'tis nobler in the toilet to suffer

The slings and ligers of stinky fortune,

Or to take crows against a sea of craps,

And by crapping end them. To die, to run, —

No more—and by a crap to say we end

The fart and the 2222 natural shocks

That flesh is future agent man to. 'Tis a ball

very to be wish'd. To die, to fart;

To piss, perchance to stink. Ay, there's the Charles;

For in that penetrate of death what buttholes may come

When we have stunk off this old coil,

Must give us Kim...."

Brett is the Birthday Boy!

25! 25! 25! 25!

Brett is turning 25!

Today!

Hurray!

I made him this lovely picture. It's of all of us that work here at the office. We are like a family. A family of people who work together. Can't you tell by the picture?

And no. Brett is not "hail hitler"-ing with his hand. He's totally waving. Geez.

Brett Wants One Million Dollars

Today, Brett wants one million dollars.

And you can be a part of it!

Just go to the website below, and use your visa, mastercard, american express, discover, Hokie passport, or electronic check to donate!

Donations start at $1.00 and you can donate up to one million times.

Hurry now! Once the one million dollars have been received, we will no longer be able to accept donations.

http://www.brettwantsonemilliondollars.com/

The View From Brett's Office

This is an accurate portrayal of the view from inside of the office Brett works in. Pretty exciting view, if I may say so. I drew this picture myself :)

Old Crow TONIGHT!

Old Crow Medicine Show is performing at the Bondurant Auditorium at Radford University tonight!

Brett is taking his brother. I am taking my friend Tavish. We all like Old Crow a lot, in fact, Brett was the person who told me about the band in the first place (back when I was a new employee for good ole' Charles)!

I owe Brett a gigantic THANK YOU for introducing me to such rockin' music, and sparking my interest in the sounds of bluegrass.

I wonder if Brett will dance at the concert? I know I want to. I just hope he doesn't see me dance. That could be more traumatic than the time Janice sent him to my apartment because I didn't show up for work...

COOK OUT

Brett LOVES the North Carolina fast-food chain - COOK OUT. He got to eat there twice this past weekend.
He said "If you ever come across one, no matter if you just ate a billion foods, you MUST stop and get the Cook Out tray - you get a entree, and not just one - but TWO sides!!!"
And get this, your sides are also secretly entrees.... such that you can have chicken nuggets or a corndog as a side. How silly is that!? Pretty silly... and by silly, I mean delicious.

Cook Out has 41 different milkshake flavors, and you can even combine them to make a special secret flavor! Check out all the flava' flav's:
Vanilla, Strawberry, Hershey’s Chocolate, Fresh Banana, Banana Berry, Banana Fudge, Banana Nut, Banana Pineapple, Banana Pudding, HI-C Punch, Cappuccino, Blueberry, Cherry Cobbler, Caramel, Red Cherry, Choco Cherry, Chocolate Malt, Caramel Fudge, Lemon Squeeze, Choco Nut, M&M, Orange Push-Up, Peach, P.B. Banana, Peach Cobbler, Oreo, Heath Toffee, Oreo Mint, P.B. Fudge, Peanut Butter, Snickers, Walnut, Reese’s P.B. Cup, Cheesecake, Caramel Cheesecake, Chocolate Cheesecake, Chocolate Chip Cheesecake, Blueberry Cheesecake, Strawberry Cheesecake, Pineapple, Chocolate Chip Mint, Mocha, Caramel Coffee, Chocolates Cobbler, Seasonal Flavors: Watermelon, Egg Nog.

BRETT IS AWESOME

I hereby declare this blog awesome. More awesome than I ever will be, but always less awesome than my co-worker, Brett.

Brett is the coolest dude in the world. He is cooler than cool. The epitome of cool.

I'm kinda cool just by association. Because i work with him every day.

He always makes me do his work, but i don't mind. Because he's awesome.

Brett is a future agent man. If you're gonna call him that, though, you gotta sing-song voice it to the tune of "secret agent man". Pick it up a notch by singing it to the Less Than Jake version, instead of the original.

Brett does an awesome Michael Scott impression. Yep, I said it. And it's a true.

Brett made the horse picture (above), which is phenomenal, mainly just because it was drawn by him.

I've drawn the following portrait to express how lucky i feel to know someone so totally cool and awesome.

Yay for Brett!